17 Simple Rules For Going To The Cinema With Me.

News Type: Other — Seeded on Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:41 PM EDT

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entertainment, movies, comedy, cinema, stupidity, public, rules, rant, pet-peeves

8. Anyone heard to utter the phrase "Did you see that?!" at any point during the screening will be taken outside and have the word "DULLARD" branded on their forehead. They will not be readmitted without purchasing a new ticket, since they instantly invalidated their original with a heavy dose of stupid.

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{"commentId":2623273,"authorDomain":"tigerblade"}

tigerblade

12. After a great deal of consideration, I have decided that your children are welcome at the cinema! However, you should note that if you fail to discipline them swiftly and effectively during the film for any outbursts or other minor crimes, I will not hesitate in issuing forth my own psychological punishments in the months and years following the screening.

I absolutely hate it when people bring little kids to movies - particularly movies with anything above a G rating. I sat through 28 Weeks Later (a freakin' zombie movie, for cryin' out loud) while trying to ignore the 6-year-olds rampaging up and down the aisles.

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#1 - Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:43 PM EDT

{"commentId":2624602,"authorDomain":"Prilj"}

Prilj

2. You may not for any reason leave your seat to visit the bathroom at any juncture during the film, from the point of the display of certification to the moment the lights come up. If you cannot hold it in that long, you must either provide yourself a colostomy bag (or equivalent) or simply not visit the pictures.

That's a tad bit ridiculous. 32 ounces of ice cold beverage + (sometimes) 2 1/2 (or more) hours of sitting in an air conditioned theatre = need for a restroom for a lot of people, not just people with weak bladders, as this sentiment implies.

10. You will not put your feet, legs, knees, elbows, hands, jumper, jacket, drink, bag or child on or near the back of my seat at any stage of proceedings. Failure to comply will result in me seizing ownership of your feet, legs, knees, elbows, hands, jumper, jacket, drink or bag with immediate effect. Children will simply be retrained as enthusiastic urologists and given back to you.

With exception to the "urologist" part, I agree with this 100%. What kind of selfish @!$%# feels the need to put their filthy, disgusting feet up on the seats in a theatre? These are the 2nd worst type of movie goer and have almost pushed me to the point of violence... and I am NOT a violent person by any stretch of the word.

{"commentId":2624602,"threadId":"342338","contentId":"1797953","authorDomain":"Prilj"}

1 vote

#2 - Thu Aug 28, 2008 5:26 PM EDT

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17 Simple Rules For Going To The Cinema With Me.

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